You will never understand bureaucracies until you understand that for bureaucrats procedure is everything and outcomes are nothing.-Thomas Sowell

A very disappointing day in court.

The birth mother moved. Social services knew, but did not share the info. DA tried to serve with official papers, but failed as the birth mother had moved. Neither side talked.

Case adjourned.

It does not matter that the mother signed off on rights months ago. It does not matter that she has no interest in the child, still. It does not matter that the child is in a stable, loving home, and has been since he left the hospital.

We meet again on July 7th. The process won't even start until then-and who knows if then. That means the court won't recognize J as our son until after his first birthday in September.

There are those who say this doesn't matter; he's in our home, and it's not likely he'll be removed from it.

There are those who say that due process must be served, to protect his best interests, so no one can come back at a later time to challenge his family-ness with us.

There are also those who will say this is a total waste of taxpayers' money, a waste of Social Services, Court, DA, & GAL time.

There are those who will say this is an open-and-shut case; the birth mother does not want the child, and we do.

I had a goal of not writing with disdain on the system too much, as this was the system that was giving us our son. For that, I am truly grateful.

But when a system will not unite a family, will not find ways to expedite the challenges that do indeed come up, and does not feel any remorse whatsoever that it lacks the skills and desires to do so-then, for this post, at least, I protest.

I protest, I protest, I protest.

And I wipe away the tears that fall on the head of my sleeping son.

The question is not "To be or not to be," it is what we should be until we are not.-Soren Kierkegaard

And tomorrow is a big step in who we want to be.

Tomorrow we have our first court date for J. From what I understand, this is to find 'grounds'; grounds to terminate parental rights, even though J's mother is voluntarily giving them up.

The next step will be 'findings'. Hopefully the judge will 'find' that J belongs in a good adoptive home-preferably ours, since he's known no other and seems to be thriving.

The last step will be the adoption, complete with a party at the courthouse and balloons and champagne.

All of this could be finished within sixty days-or six to seven months. Not knowing J's father puts uncertainty into the court system.

But speaking of thriving, our youngest is 'scooching'-getting around doing a form of an army crawl. He's fast enough to get into trouble, but not so fast that we don't have time to finish baby-proofing. He's eating more table foods-not a one he doesn't chow down on. He's getting a little Buddha-belly. And clapping. There's our update on his progression.

What we want to be is a family-and that's what we've been being. Our last task is to convince the court to acknowledge us as what we are.